Andy's Mountings
Little Orphic Andy hadn't scruples. And now he was up the creek.
Life on Andy’s mountain wutten always so fluid. The Great Flood (we have ‘em twice a year now) had caused Andy Mann to have to up and move upstream, lest his entire fortune in that trailer be swooshed away at the next available opportunity.
“These mountings are gonna be the death of us.” Andy used to say. He spoke like a hick, but so do we all.
Pretty Trina Harper overheard him say that, and she wutten a hick. She was from the big city, Charlotte, and they node grammar up yonder. And she had been seein’ Andy, and goin’ out, and who knows what other carnal knowledge she brought down from the big city. Hopefully no diseases.
I ain’t gonna get explicit or nothing, but I have a hunch she misinterpreted his drift, soda speak. But I find that I ain’t all that sad about the matter. Fact is, I always wondered what city love was like. And now I find myself in one of those, what is it? Quast, quaquaqua, I give up. But she is cute. Got those curly lips, and eyes like Faberge almonds. Oh great. Here she comes.